G, our twelve and a half year old daughter’s Bat Mitzvah is in a few days: Two Days actually. It is on Shabbat Shuva, the Shabbat in between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. This, as you know is not the most convenient time for anyone I imagine for a family to celebrate a bat mitzvah, but it is especially challenging for a congregational rabbi and her.family

As the days move closer to G, standing on this Bima, I realize that this is a very precious time: Precious even with the fighting, the mess, and details and schlepping. Precious because when I stop all the madness, I am left with the awesome reality that my first-born will continue a tradition passed down from generations and that she will now be counted as an adult amongst our people. The right of passage is profound.

Shortly after L and N were born, in July 2004 I stood here before you and shared with you the values we hoped to pass down to our three children. I recently re-read that sermon and I was amazed by two things: one, how much I had forgotten about the circumstances of their births and about our rituals and routine back then, and two, how I would write a different letter to my children today, ten years later. I have since re-written the letter and I will share most of it with you now.

Dear G, L and N,

Your dad and I met when I was 30 and dad was 33. We had substantially different life experiences, however we have always shared some common beliefs and values. And we want to share those with you now.

When I first learned about the great martin Luther king Jr., Gandhi, Emma Goldman, nelson Mandela, I was inspired and thought that kind of greatness is not attainable anymore. That these people were modern day saints and only the select few could be like them, but I was wrong. I learned that they just acted on their passion for justice and equality. They were not afraid to speak their mind and work for what they believed in. Their legacy to us is the hope that one person can change the world and that each of us is a powerful human being with abilities and strength to do good. Dad and I have come to realize however that thinking we have to help fix this world and right the wrongs because we want to emulate Gandhi or King, is not a great place to start. We have learned that placing importance on the smallest acts of kindness, of help and consideration is equally valuable and worthy. With small acts of kindness, come large doses of hope that wrongs can be righted and goodness can prevail. You don’t have to be a great person to do great things. Good people are the ones who do the extraordinary.

Our rabbis teach us, lo alecah hamlacha ligmor…it is not your job to complete the task, but neither are you free to desist from it.

When you do even the slightest bit of good, know that it matters. We want you to try your best, and when you can’t try your best, just try. No one tries his best all the time. It has been said that anything truly worth doing is worth doing poorly. For example, a louse peace treaty is better than war. It is far better to make any attempt at repairing the world than to leave it broken. However, we do encourage you to recognize when you have an opportunity to do something worthwhile and put forth a real effort. That will make a difference in your life.

We also want you to know that with life comes frustration and disappointment.   You will not be alone in your frustration, and those feelings of inadequacy and humiliation happen to everybody and they will pass. If however those feelings do not pass or are disproportionate, please get help. Life is way to short and precious for the torment of that which is beyond our control.

Your parents think that an important part of life is prayer. mom and dad each have a deep and rich prayer life and it has brought comfort to each of us during times of despair and in times of great joy. Our prayer lives are manifested differently, but we each have a connection to God… To a higher power who works in our lives. When you were younger, we sang your prayers for you and we told you of all the people who loved you and we ended the prayer routine with ‘and God loves you just the way you are.” We believe this to be true. We hope that you do too or will one day believe this to be true as well.

We will not attempt to define what God should mean or be for you, but we do know that having a connection to something greater than yourself has made life far more manageable. It reminds us that we are not in control of most of what happens to us, yet our connection to a Higher Power allows us to be okay, no matter what happens. We are comforted by this sacred relationship, even when we are in the midst of challenging times. Dad and I love that each of you asks so many questions about God, the world, and life. We hope that you will continue to develop a personal theology and relationship to the Holy One. We hope that you will continue to find, and to seek out teachers who help answer your questions, and that they encourage you to search even more. Developing a spiritual life can be the greatest gift you can give yourself and the world.

Remember to breathe, to feel the breath of life within you—it is calming when we do that, it will serve you well to take a few deep breaths and to feel the rising of the breath on the inhale and the release of the breath on the exhale. And yes, I know you make fun of me when I say these kinds of things.

In our Torah portion last week, we read God gives us blessing and curse choose life that you may live. Choose life. Our sacred text implores us to choose to do good and not evil for then god is with you. When we make the right choice, we may feel god’s presence in our lives. However, my dears, god will be with you when you make the wrong choice as well. God is there to support us when we fall.

It is common for us to say in our house, “say your gratefuls” we are not just saying that, but we believe that saying what we are grateful for out loud helps us take the information that we are fortunate, that we do have blessings~even if we think we don’t at a particular moment in time. Saying ‘gratefuls’ helps us remember that we are not alone and we are also not in charge.   Remember, Moses does not ever get to accomplish his life’s goal of getting into the Promised Land. Instead, he is instructed to go up to Mount Nebo, the place on which he will die and look out on to the land of Milk and Honey and reflect on all that he had been given in his lifetime. God said, Moses, “Rav Lach”, you have so much.

This is one of my favorite stories, for the lesson is that indeed we may choose life, but the circumstances and what happens to us are so much of the time not up to us. Moshe Rabbanu teaches us this. That life is not about getting the great prize at the end—the ultimate goal that we’ve been striving for, but it is about choosing to life, to the best of our ability, a day at time, where ever it is that we are. And maybe the goal might be just to put one foot forward and keep moving, with purpose and direction until one day, we turn a different corner, and do it all over again.

Today, our world is in a heap of trouble. Terror exists through out the world. There are societal ills that we can become numb to since we do not see them every day. Hunger and homelessness is rampant, this congregation has a food pantry and our own people use it. There are not enough soup kitchens, or shelter beds in this country. People are suffering from awful diseases and climate change is hardly on the radar of folks who can do something about it.

Despite my litany of examples of what is wrong with our world, I do, however, have hope that things will get better. I have hope because you are in the world. Hope because each one of us has the potential to bring about the coming of the messiah and paradise on earth.

It is our hope that each of you continue to be committed Zionists.

Israel is our spiritual home – and she is in trouble.   She’s been in trouble before, but times have changed and the shelling and rockets that happened this past July are I believe, a sign of what is to come. The solution is not promising any time soon, I am so sad to say. If Israel retaliates against the terrorists, innocent civilians get killed and the media has another field day of misguided reporting. Security strategies turn into human rights violations and public relations fiascos. Negative press gives fuel to opportunistic politicians and pressure groups that use anti-Semitism to further their political goals in the middle east, Europe and in our own country. While we might not always agree on how Israel acts in various situations, we must care for Israel’s greater good and act in her behalf. Dad and I took you to Israel in 2010, before we took you to Disneyworld. And you had a better time in Israel. There you met my Hasidic friends who took us in and loved us like family, Nathan and Dad wore Ozer’s Strimal-big black fur hat, and Lucy was even asked if she wanted to try it on. We also visited a Reform community whose female rabbi is constantly at battle with the local religious authorities. When it comes to Israel, there are so many diverging opinions and politics. We have our own views, and we want you to have yours as well. It lets others know you care. But don’t forget, the way to peace is through listening and talking to the other. It is through dialogue and connections and indefatigable effort, being ever mindful that there are many different Truths that can be in direct opposition to each other.

We hope that you believe in yourselves. Rabbi Joseph Telushkin: writes in Jewish Literacy, “… 19^th century Chasidic master rabbi Simcha Bunam suggested that every person carry in his or her pockets two pieces of paper. On one should be written, “for my sake was the world created,” while the other should contain the worlds Abraham recited when he entreated god to spare the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah: “I am but dust and ashes.” (Genesis 18:27)

Each paper should be consulted at the appropriate time. When you are feeling arrogant, impressed by how much more you have accomplished than others, by how much smarter, generous, insightful, witty, and popular you are, consult the sheet, “I am but dust and ashes”. …. After all, it was Abraham who said that, and while you may indeed be more accomplished than your colleagues, are you greater than Abraham?

than again, during moments of despair (and moments of arrogance and despair may even occur on the same day) remind yourself, “for my sake was the world created.”   There is always some special mission for you, something in this world that you, and only you can accomplish.

Two pieces of paper: write down the words, and put them in your pockets now. ( p.185)

I want to conclude this ethical will of sorts with words from Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel. In his last interview in 1971 he was asked what advice he had for young people. Heschel was a modern prophet and I vividly recall watching a rerun of his last interview when I was G’s age.

Heschel’s answer to the interview was this, he said: “I would say to young people a number of things, and I have only one minute. I would say, let them remember that there is a meaning beyond absurdity. Let them be sure that every little deed counts, that every word has power, and that we can do — every one — our share to redeem the world despite of all the absurdities and all the frustration and all disappointments. And above all, remember that the meaning of life is to live life as it if were a work of art. You’re not a machine. When you are young, start working on this great work of art called your own existence.”

May you, my children, and indeed, may all our children and all of us be blessed with a long life of love, friendship and Shalom.